Over the course of the last week I have been in prayer. Life is changing again and spiritually speaking seasons are about to change for me. I've been trying to spend more time praying and worshipping. I've been really seeking the Lord and focusing on hearing His voice. The last several days I have felt the Lord speaking and impressing things on my heart. Some that are bold and seemingly make no sense. I've had to revert back to my own writing about things not making sense. Some are quiet whisperings. Words of love. In all of it, I've been overwhelmed. I've doubted, I've cried, I've laughed, I've begged, I've sat in silence. I've thrown out my fleece and the Lord has answered yet I feel I need to ask for further confirmation.
I've posted some things this week via social media and had friends ask, "so what's going on with you?", "what is all this stuff about your future and seasons changing?". To that I say, I wish I knew. The Lord has been pretty specific about some things and so much so that I feel doubt. That probably makes no sense, but I find sometimes when the Lord speaks so clearly, it can't possibly be Him... weird I know. So I sit and wait to see how those things pan out in to life and the rest of the pieces come together.
Have you been there before? Have you known the Lord was about to lead you to a new place? It's exciting, scary, exhilarating, and yet you look around every corner to see if you missed it. At least I have... I'm so afraid of missing it... I think because I feel there has been some major things in my life that I have "messed up" if you will and I'm afraid, for whatever reason, that I'm going to miss God's will. I know I'm in a totally different place in life now and I know that God has big things for me, so I'm not entirely sure where the doubt comes from.
At any rate I wanted just to take time to share. The motto/mission of my blog is,
Sharing thoughts and ideas, confessions and true stories.
