The Pursuit of....Dignity

So recently I've been chatting with various people in my sphere of influence.....this morning as I was recalling a conversation I felt challenged in my spirit. I was thinking about my relationships with friends, thinking about social media, technology, and the like....I got to thinking about conduct, dignity, and integrity.  As I was pondering I felt challenged to evaluate my relationships, my social media posts.... not because I'm convicted about doing something wrong but more so that I continue to strive for doing what is right..... 

The Lord knows that one of my heart's  desires is to be a helpmate. To be united with my spouse and to work alongside him in ministry. As I was thinking about this I was thinking about my conduct. We've all heard the WWJD phrase but beyond that would he be pleased.... what would he think about who I'm spending time with, what I'm texting to people, What I'm posting online.....I want all of those things to be honoring to Christ, but I also want them to be honoring to my future spouse. I want to honor him in my conduct, with dignity and integrity....what does that mean exactly....? Basically I'm challenging myself because if the Lord should match me with my spouse tomorrow I'd want to be walking in such a level of integrity and honor/dignity to him that I wouldn't have to hide or explain anything away. That I'd  be able to be transparent. Again I'm not saying I currently have anything "to hide" but I want to keep it that way. I want to be diligent to always honor my relationship with the Father and my spouse.... even if I don't know who he is yet...

It's one thing to have to do business with God. To have to repent, and ask for forgiveness... we've all been there.  And I realize we'll be doing that for years to come if the Lord should tarry, but why would I set myself up to HAVE to repent, to HAVE to ask for forgiveness, to HAVE to explain to my future spouse about my choices... Obviously there are already things in our past, for each of us, that we bring to the table in any relationship, whether it's a friend or otherwise... we came to our relationship in Christ with "baggage" as well; but I encourage you, (and I'm speaking to myself) be diligent, have integrity. "Make good choices" as one might jokingly say. But in all seriousness... I believe there is reward and favor to walk in such a manner. I pray every day for the favor of Esther. I used to pray it over my job, but now I pray it over every area of my life. I pray that I would find favor with the Lord first and foremost, but I believe in my diligence and pursuit of dignity, I'll find favor in other areas of my life. 

(P.S. Dear Man of God that is to be my husband... I'm praying for you..... obviously you're going to need it... I'm already blogging about you! ;) )

Landing on Your Feet

Today I was in a leadership meeting when someone said, "Man I wish I could always land on my feet." Their comment was in reference to, yes, you guessed it... cats! Productive leadership meeting huh!? Well, how we got to that subject matter is not really as important as the thoughts it led to afterward. At least for me. Immediately I questioned the thought; Would I want to always land on my feet? What are the implications of landing on one's feet? What meaning or significance would it have? I suppose most assume if you land on your feet you've "conquered" something or that you've come out on top. In reference to the business world I imagine that would have some tie to a measure of success. In relating that to emotions I would guess it means there was no "breakdown". Spiritually perhaps would imply you overcame something. Physically.... the physical side of this is what ties it all together in my mind. If you physically LAND on your feet, it implies you fell, right? Or you jumped? It means at some point there was nothing stable under you. Your feet were not touching the ground.
  The next thing I started to think about was the circumstances. Is every fall or jump a bad thing? I don't think so... people choose to sky dive and bungee jump. People choose to take "leaps of faith". Are there situations where there is a fall or jump that's negative though, yes. We've all been there... Now... let's break it down even further. Are there times when the fall is "bad" but it would be equally bad to land on your feet? I think so.... When I think about this scenario, the first thing that comes to mind is jumping from a burning building. {Maybe I've seen to many movies} In my mind, if I'm trapped 6 stories high and the only way out is to jump... I definitely do NOT want to land .... on my feet! My hope is that there is something at the bottom to catch me and that I land on my hind end or my back. Does that fall then have a bad connotation for me because I didn't land on my feet? No. I got out safe. In one piece. Right?! How about sky diving, as I mentioned earlier? I just viewed some pictures today that a friend posted of his 13,000 foot jump! He jumped with someone in tow. A helper! A guide... Did he land on his feet? Yes, but I think as long as the chute opened and he landed at all he was probably happy!! :)
 Ok so where am I going with this...? Sometimes I think we erroneously tag ourselves as insufficient, or put expectations on ourselves that aren't realistic. Maybe not to an extreme but even just like this little phrase... "I wish I could always land on my feet." Makes it seem as though if we don't, we've some how fallen short... who's measuring stick are we using.. Do we need to fit a "status quo"...? I'm taking my point to a bit of an extreme as you can see, but do you understand? We are not under obligation to live according to any standard or precedent except that of our Designer. So reflect back a minute...on times you maybe didn't "land on your feet". Reflect back at a time you "fell" or took a jump. How did you land? What was the outcome? Was it "necessary" for you to land on your feet? Does anyone think any less of you because of how you landed? Maybe you don't even know the answers but just remember it for next time. Next time you have to take a jump, or get pushed over the edge... maybe you trip... no matter the landing you're still loved, and you still have purpose; and at the risk of sounding cliche, maybe it's time you let someone catch you.

Let Me Take a "Selfie"

Ok... so by the title you may or may not think I'm a little crazy! :) I'll let you wonder for awhile....
Alright, in all seriousness, this is something I've been considering blogging about for some time now, it's just been a matter of putting it into words... well words that will make sense.... sometimes it makes sense in my head, but not when I try to explain!
 So, let's review first of all... when you take a picture, what is the purpose? To capture a moment? To embrace a memory? To show others? There's a myriad of reasons to take a picture, right?! And they say, "a picture is worth a thousand words". But what happens when the picture doesn't turn out the way you want? It's blurry, you cut someone's head off....you know... it's disappointing right? Disheartening.

I remember, a few years ago, spending several months in England and getting to see the Queen with my brother... I was so mad because all of my pictures of her we a blurred mess of her horse drawn carriage... it was more like a smear! I was so upset... my brother said to me in that moment, "Sis, you're here. No one can take that away from you. It's your memory in your heart and mind. You don't have to prove to someone you were here with a picture." I'll never forget those words... he was so right... I had the honor and privilege of seeing the Queen of England, and I was mad about a picture....But I was there. I saw her with my own two eyes. No one could take that away from me. Conversely, neither could anyone join me or experience what I did, simply by looking at a picture. Even if it had been professional and crystal clear!
  Now, fast forward to present day... If any of you are friends with me on Facebook, you know I have an album called Miscellaneous Me... vain right?! No. The whole point of that album was to have a place to put pictures of myself for my biological family that I don't know well, that I never see, to be able to see me.. just me. Yes they can see my other pictures of me doing things with friends etc., but this is just me, my transformation....or aging! HAHA! As I've taken pictures to add to the album I've sometimes become frustrated... Sometimes, and I can't believe I'm admitting this, I'll take 8 or more pictures before I find one I like well enough to post. Now, some of you will say, she has a self esteem problem... actually, a lot of times when I take the pictures it's because I'm actually really liking what I see in the mirror. I'm saying "Thank you Lord, for who you made me". Not in a vain way at all, but being proud of who I am, being comfortable in my skin. So then, when I "take a selfie", as modern culture would say, I'm disappointed when I don't see in the picture, what I see in the mirror, or what I feel inside... My point in all of that, is to say this: Enjoy the life God gave you. Enjoy the body he put you in. Make memories WITH people. As nice as technology is to have and to be able to take a picture to post for my family to see, the fact is they aren't here to see me in person. To enjoy my company. To make memories. To smile WITH me. I'm not saying that in a condemning way either. It is what it is. But just remember next time you take a "selfie" ...alone or with your friends, savor the moment, the LIVE, in person moment. The picture might not turn out perfect, but no one can take away the moment or the memory!