As of March (mid month) I have been back home in Iowa seeking medical treatment. I had some issues on the field for several months and saw a plethora of doctors who could not figure out what was wrong with me. I made the decision to come back to the states for treatment and have been home since. (You can catch up here: https://www.youcaring.com/casandra-struthers-539316 .)
So, here I sit, in what I am calling the waiting room. The following is an excerpt from the above blog that I wrote regarding where I'm at spiritually right now:
I was thinking about it this morning. About waiting, about my future. About what it means to wait and how much of our lives is actually spent, waiting. I found this interesting:
According to a Timex survey, Americans wait on average of 20 minutes a day for the bus or train, 32 minutes whenever they visit a doctor and 28 minutes waiting in security lines whenever they travel.
That's only a fraction. That doesn't include, waiting in line at the store, waiting at stop lights every day, waiting for our food to cook or be brought to us, for someone to answer the door etc. We spend a lot more time waiting than we realize. In the waiting, we don't know what the outcome is going to be. So this shouldn't surprise me, right?! That I'm in a spiritual waiting room. That I'm at a place where I don't know when the light is going to turn green, or if the person ahead of me in line is going to need to ask a hundred questions before proceeding to check out, or if someone is ever going to answer the door.... metaphorically speaking of course. ;)
This has been one of the hardest seasons in my life. Unable to understand why I would have that huge miracle only to have to turn around and come home; or why I would be "allowed" so to speak to push for a dream so much only to have it cut short. (Maybe this is where I stop and yell "PLOT TWIST"! haha) Seriously though, I don't pretend to understand. What I do know is this: He is still a good Father. He is still on the Throne. He still loves me. He still has a plan. This was not a surprise to Him. This is not a difficult thing for Him. This will all work together for good, somewhere, some way, some how. He is still God. He is still in control.
I share that to invite you into the next part of the journey. Where I go from here is in the Lord's hands, but I want to share it with all of you, here. I want to share it because so many of you have traveled with me thus far, through all the ups and downs; and I know that the Lord has used my story to speak to many of you. I pray that continues. I pray that in some small way, my challenges and my struggles will speak to even just one of you. So, here's to the waiting room and whatever lies ahead.
