Dare to Live!

There seems to be an overwhelming theme in my life lately.... as if I should be surprised!! Sometimes I tell God it would be much easier for Him to simply put up a bulletin board for me! I guess I need to hear things multiple times in order for it to sink in!! HA HA!! Or maybe it's just God reminding me how important it is so I don't stray from the "mission" or "vision"!!

  So... over the last couple of weeks as I have shared God has been doing a number on me... Mexico opened the door to a whole world of unexpected changes within myself. I think I mentioned in a previous blog that I was thinking Mexico would be a launching pad so to speak... and it actually has been, just not in the way that I expected!!! Funny how God does that.... The first event that began to speak to me and challenge me, was Life Tree. If you have ever been to Life Tree, you know that it's a great time of conversation and learning. If you've never been to one, I encourage you to get online and find one close to you!! At any rate, the theme a few weeks ago was about survival, living through crazy events like the Earthquake that hit Haiti! In it, a man shared that his grandmother had sent him a letter. Now without going into the whole hour long Life Tree session, the letter ended with his grandmother writing,

"Live for the Living". 

  A curious phrase that had me thinking! My immediate response when asked to discuss it at our table was, "That should be our mission everyday." We should be doing things that lead others to the Lord. Simple enough... in my mind.... at the time.... I began to recite the phrase to myself frequently, and several times it made me think of my dad. I think that Living for the Living was the only thing that brought my dad to the Lord. He was always telling  my brother and I that we were going through a "phase", that our zeal for this "God stuff" would one day end.... well it didn't and sure enough, he gave his life to the Lord, 5 months before he passed away. 

  The next event I attended: the Dare to Be conference in Bellvue, NE! It was last Tuesday night and the theme if you hadn't guessed it... was about Daring to Be... Daring to be whatever God was calling us to be, Daring to step out, Daring to dream, Daring not to sit back and let life pass us by!!! Now, it may not seem like these things go hand in hand but to me it was like God saying, "Do you get it yet?" 

  I should back up and also say that every month I also attend a local Women's group called Wings. At the beginning of the year we discussed journaling and not setting resolutions but giving ourselves a WORD for the year. A word that would motivate us, speak to us, challenge us, and something that at the end of the year would not make us feel bad because we hadn't "achieved" it, like a resolution! Now, smart girl that I am... totally forgot my Word until these two events had passed!! (Let's just say it's been a chaotic start to my year!) Ok so.. can you guess what my word was??? 

LIVE

  Ha ha!! Nice right?!?!? Yeah... So... I then remembered my "motto" to go with my Word, was

"Go big or Go home!!!" 

  Yep.. that's me!!! I started thinking after these events that maybe I had set myself up for failure... maybe I had this great pie in the sky idea that I would essentially "fail" at.... but I remembered, it was a Word... a base for motivation, I can't fail at living... ha ha... I mean... even if God takes me home... HELLO!!! Eternity will be Epic!! I started to think... I started to pray.... How can I start LIVING, how can I be the example God wants me to be, how can I live for the living and how can I go big...(Cause I'm not ready to go home... yet!!) I started thinking about work, about the "sudden" favor I seem to have among the "big dogs", I started realizing that these things are not by chance. I have tried and tried for promotions within that company, I have sacrificed blood, sweat, and tears (ALL literally) over that place and just when I thought I was on my way out, God seems to be saying, "Better Go Big or Go Home"!! I realized this week, I have a huge responsibility where I am to start stepping out, to start DARING to speak, to start LIVING out loud!! 

  I have started to take my clients to church and youth group, I have started to speak up when asked to give my opinion on things, and God is teaching me to look for opportunities and open doors. I'm praying for better discernment and more boldness. I'm praying that as I am faithful in my actions, as I continue to cultivate the inner beauty I talked about previously, and as I learn obedience that people will be drawn to the Lord, and that my clients will experience healing. 

  Let me now challenge you to do the same... 

     Live for the Living (so that others will be drawn to God through your witness and actions)

     Dare to Be (so you can go before the Throne with no regrets)

Don't sit back and WISH you could make an impact, don't HOPE someone else tells your friends about the Lord, don't WONDER if you could have had that blessing..... In the end, we should all want to hear

WELL DONE GOOD AND FAITHFUL SERVANT!! 

  

Cultivating Inner Beauty

I have decided that at the risk of giving myself a complex I should maybe shift from the usual numbered confession title. Ten is a pretty good number!! I will still be sharing and of course exposing the plank in my eye when I write; after all, the title of the blog is "Confessions of a Girl Set Apart", but I will not numerically title each entry from now on!! I just want to share my heart, and along the way if the Lord speaks to you or teaches you something... well to Him be the Glory!!

Ok... so on to the "good stuff"!! Over the course of the last few weeks God has slowly been breaking down all of the things I felt while in Mexico but hadn't yet sorted out. I felt so many emotions, and knew He was doing BIG stuff on the inside of me, it has been a matter of praying through it and letting Him show me and teach me!! If you remember I related the spiritual discombobulation of events to being on an operating table and being taken apart!! So now, in "physical therapy" and "recovery" it's all starting to come together!! HEALING in a sense.

So, this last week as I was reading through 1 Peter, I came across scripture that was directed at wives. I was reading in The Message, which I love just for the sake of reading, not necessarily studying the Word, and of course being in my singleness mindset, I thought, "Well, this doesn't really apply to me right now." I continued reading however, and in fact reread a few verses and felt strongly corrected in my assumption. God reminded me that though it address wives, I needed to evaluate some things in my heart.

Before I share more, here is how the scripture reads:

1 The same goes for you wives: Be good wives to your husbands, responsive to their needs. There are husbands who, indifferent as they are to any words about God, will be captivated 2 by your life of holy beauty. 3 What matters is not your outer appearance - the styling of your hair, the jewelry you wear, the cut of your clothes - 4 but your inner disposition. 5 The holy women of old were beautiful before God that way, and were good, loyal wives to their husbands. (1 Peter 3:1-5)

Let me first of all throw out a small disclaimer: I have never been a huge fashion guru and I'm not someone who freaks out if I don't have make up on.

Now, having said that... the 2 phrases that caught my attention were verses 2 and 4! "your life of holy beauty" and "your inner disposition". WOW!! I reread and reread.... do I even know what "holy beauty" means? What is my "inner disposition"? (I think I have a good one haha, but I know we are ever changing beings who always need to do better than their best)

Certainly these are not things I can cultivate on my own, but immediately I knew I wanted it!! I can be nice, no problem there, but is it who I am in the inner most part of my being? Do I emanate Christ, His love, His compassion...??

Here are a couple definitions of Disposition.

1.

the predominant or prevailing tendency of one's spirits;natural mental and emotional outlook or

mood; characteristic attitude: a girl with a pleasant disposition.

2.

state of mind regarding something; inclination

Now, having read that...I know I have work to do!! Not because I think I'm a bad person, but because I know I can do better. I want to do better. I want my witness, who I am, to be something that draws the lost to the Lord. "Natural mental AND emotional outlook"... I'm not sure that my mental AND emotional outlook are Natural!! Do I sometimes get down on myself, do I sometimes feel as though I'm not good enough, sure... When it comes to my outlook on myself physically I know that I am doing A LOT to better myself. I go to the gym, I eat healthy... I work at it... and it's paying off... I've lost 20 pounds and 3 dress sizes in a year and still going... but I know that there is more I can do to cultivate the INNER beauty as well... I can keep working on my outward appearance, but it will do me no good to look nice and tell people I love God if it is not part of my NATURAL mental and emotional outlook, my state of mind... my inner most being....

Here's to working out, not at the gym, but in my prayer closet, continuing to cultivate my inner beauty....