This Life

So recently I was in my bathroom getting ready for the day. I felt strange for a split second. I know that sounds silly. For me though, there are certain things that set instant worry through my veins. I think it's due to having a dad that died of brain cancer and a mom who had a breast cancer scare. Small things hit you quick... is that a lump? Why do I have a headache? They aren't just simple things any more. As I paused in that moment I clearly heard the Lord say, "Why are you so worried about this life? ..... It's not yours." There was an instant wave of emotion. Emotion I can't describe... peace, clarity, comfort... all rolled in to one. It's not mine. This life is not my own. The phrase, "living on borrowed time" had new meaning. The scripture, from Corinthians "You are not your own" made more sense. I hear this phrase frequently but it was like the eyes of my heart were opened. I began to think about things differently. I began to think about the longings of our hearts toward things. Myself included. I desire a Godly man in my life that I can come along side. I desire to work in unity with someone to build the Kingdom. But in asking to do that, in praying for a husband, in a man or woman's plea for a child, in a desperate cry for healing of a loved one; ultimately we are asking to borrow a life. Another life, that is also not our own. So now there's the realization that my life is not my own coupled with the realization that our prayers are asking to borrow another life on this earth. It made a lot more sense to me also to then think about why God doesn't always LEND when we ask to BORROW. I don't know that we all realize what we are truly asking.... in short, we are asking to borrow His children. We are, at times, begging, for Him to send us something we want in our heart. But it's like asking your best friend to borrow their baby, asking your boss to borrow their new Mercedes. Those are poor earthly examples, but I'm not sure how else to convey my thoughts. (Maybe I'm too mind blown! LOL) For now I am thankful. Thankful I have the life I have. Thankful that one day my borrowed life will join with another. What are you thankful for? How many borrowed lives have been lent to you in this season? Enjoy them until you have to give them back!! 

Making Sense of it All

This is a note I posted on Facebook recently, so I apologize in advance if you're reading it twice. It was really weighing on my heart so I decided to post it here as well. Happy reading:

I've been noticing in talking with people and reading various posts from friends and family lately, that we put a lot of emphasis on what we THINK makes sense. We ASSUME we know what's best at times and we act or react accordingly. This is not in itself all bad. We all have intuition and inclinations;  however, sometimes we must remember when we walk with the Lord, things aren't always going to make sense. What we THINK the Lord wants or what we THINK would be the "logical" choice or option is not always the case. 

Did it "make sense" for the Lord to require Abraham to sacrifice his son? Does it "make sense" that Sarah had a baby at 90? Did it "make sense" the God would show up as a burning bush? Or that Noah would build a HUGE boat far before any rain/flooding? Are any of these things logical?? Then ask yourself; Is God prompting me to do something that "doesn't make sense"? Is He nudging me to step out on a limb? Is He putting something in my heart that "doesn't seem logical"? Will it take years to achieve? Will people look at you like you're strange? Will people disapprove? Better yet, will it please the Lord? Will it bring blessing to Him and His Kingdom? Will trusting Him make you stronger? Will it make you a different/better person? Are you willing to be looked at strange and shrug off the disapproval? Is that prompting going to lead to joy? (for you and the Lord) 

Don't let opportunity, grace, love, compassion, dreams, excitement, favor, and blessing slip away because it "doesn't seem logical" or it "doesn't make sense" or someone might say something. None of those things matter if the Lord is in the center of it. If He brought you to it or it to you, then don't let it get away from you. Chase it, hone it, strengthen it, cultivate it... do whatever it takes, no matter how much "sense" it DOESN'T make!! :) :) 

To Sacrifice

Alright, here's your warning.... there are some things in life that I get passionate about... maybe too passionate. There are things I get on a soap box about and make no apologies in doing such. That's not to say that I've never spoken too soon and had to re-evaluate. Trust me... I've definitely crammed my foot in my mouth a time or two. At any rate, my post today is regarding a phrase I've heard a lot over the last month or two. Honestly I've been hearing it a lot longer but recently it's become more vocalized, or maybe I'm just more sensitive to it, or maybe it's just that my convictions are stronger in certain areas lately as I feel the Lord working on me.

What phrase am I referring to? This: Sometimes you have to give up stuff now for better stuff later. Or, Making a sacrifice now for better things to come. Or, I'm making sacrifices now so I don't have to later. Or, I'm making sacrifices now so I don't have to tell my family no later... variations of this phrase have been floating around, I'm sure for some time... longer than I've noticed. But for some reason it really has me reeling.... At what expense? What sacrifice is being made and who is being affected? Over the weekend I heard someone say, "It really impressed [Jane] that [Natalie] left her son's baseball game to review this business opportunity with her." I'm sorry but was that necessary? Yes I understand some of you are thinking, you don't have kids, you don't have any room to talk. You're right I don't have kids, but I can't imagine doing that to a child. How does the child feel about their parent missing their game? Is that "business opportunity" worth missing your son or daughter's first home run? And yes I understand things happen, there are circumstances that come up in life where you might have to miss something, and it's out of your control. But when you do have control, when you do have a choice......

I see families saying that it's ok to miss things, or ok to "sacrifice" their time away from their kids or spouses so that in the future they won't have to say no, they can give their kids everything  they need/want. This seems counter intuitive to me. It seems that in SOME cases, working with this mindset puts things off to the point that by the time you are around for your child or spouse, it might be too late. It seems to me that this "sacrifice" sometimes leads to other problems in the home. I have spoken with teenagers and Nannies recently who both see and experience the effects of parents who are working toward a "better future". The teen who's parents aren't ever home, stating they're doing it FOR him. The nanny who says she's dealing with defiant kids because the parents are never around. They're too busy making the best future possible for their kids so in a few years they can retire early and be able to spend all of their time with their kids, traveling etc. Is it worth all of that? Is missing the important stuff now, even if it's small worth losing a lot more later? The kids' respect, a relationship with them.... ?

I'm by no means saying people should quit their jobs and solely focus on their kids. What I am saying is find BALANCE. Even those of us without kids, or grown kids need to find balance. Making "sacrifices" thinking that we're doing ourselves a favor for later is, in my opinion, only setting up a bigger problem later. You may very well make these sacrifices now and in a few years be able to provide everything your family could ever want, but will they appreciate it? Or will they be so hurt that you missed all the stuff in between that now it doesn't matter? Again I don't have kids, but I've been evaluating what I'm doing with my time as well. Who I'm spending time with. What my priorities are. Am I investing in others? Am I spending time first with the Lord to see where HE wants my time, money, and energy to go? Am I letting myself get enveloped with work to the point that I don't have a life? Is my sacrifice earthly or for the Kingdom? What matters in the end is not how much stuff we have or what cool vacations we get to go on. It's who we showed grace. Who we loved into the Kingdom. (no I'm not saying vacations aren't of God or that they're bad) I'm really praying that people will be enlightened. That they'll broaden their perspectives. That the Lord will create Kingdom minded people. Let's ask Him to show us what matters. Let's ask Him to show us where to put our time and energy. Let's be open to rearranging our schedules. Let's SACRIFICE our ideals, our theories, our agendas. I challenge you this week to lay your sacrifice on the altar and let the Lord take over.