So I challenged myself to step out on a limb awhile back, I wanted to “identify” myself, describe myself… do I really KNOW who I am…. I needed an opportunity to put myself out there… I needed to really think about how I got where I am and who I believe I am in the Lord… I needed a “safe” arena and I believe this is it… Bear with me… this is more for my benefit than yours!! (I did this previously when I was in a bad place so this is also a bit of redemption and healing, and I like to update it as my journey progresses!!)
I’m 32 years old, yes basic I know… I LOVE animals and I love to be outside, but I HATE the cold. I get cold easy and I’m kind of a weenie in that respect! In the winter I need layers and often wonder why I chose to live in Iowa for so stinkin’ long. I love to golf, I played varsity for 3 years in high school and although I’m not the best in the world, I enjoy every minute of the course, any course!! I was married and divorced, I do not have children. I have always wanted to be a mother and felt I would be a good mother. I have often wondered if I was cut out for the actual act of child bearing however (my own insecurity of some sort) and in that respect maybe one day I will join a “pre made” family! :) I could be the “cool step mom”! Ha! Maybe not… but these are in fact, things I think about… And there’s my goofy side… I love to joke around and whoever gets the great honor and scary privilege of being my mate one day will have to deal with my witty and sometimes lame humor!! Ha Ha!! I love, love, love music. I will listen to almost anything. I am usually humming a tune or have something running through my head if I don’t have K-Love or my iPod on. I can possibly be found dancing around randomly and singing on the weekends also if I’m not cleaning or organizing something. I wouldn’t say I’m a “clean freak” but I’m fairly organized and most everything has “its place”. I love to road trip, and again road tripping involves good music!! I love to try new things and go new places. I will try almost anything once whether it is food or some kind of activity…and speaking of food, I LOVE to bake… Cooking... well I’m working on it... and getting better I might add, but they are two totally different spectrums!! I wear my heart on my sleeve and although I try to hide when I am upset, I usually do a terrible job. I can be somewhat emotional, but have gotten better at being rational. I will give the shirt off my back for someone and will do anything to help a friend in need. I am learning how to save money and be thrifty. I love to bargain shop; I’m a nerd like that. I don’t always act my age and certainly don’t feel as though I’m “in my thirties”. YIKES!! :) I have friends of varying ages and love them all very much. I love to have people over and “entertain”. I don’t have my “own” home to entertain in currently but I look forward to that again. (I’m a great hostess!!... Is that prideful??) :) I have 2 tattoos and intend to get more, well one more for sure, but we’ll see. I love to read. I have a college degree in ministry that I am not currently “using”; however I’m confident that God has a plan and purpose for me. Does it involve my degree… who knows? I have had a very hard time in recent years knowing where I am with “religion”, figuring out why I believe what I do and becoming a person of relationship not religion. I have lots of unanswered questions…but who doesn’t right?!?!?! I am at a point in my life right now where I want someone else to enjoy my life with but I’m learning to be content and love God. I’m learning to focus on my personal relationship with Jesus. I’m learning how to spend my time more wisely, how to stop and truly listen for His voice. I want to always wait for the still small voice. I put my trust in Him and know that He will put someone in my life when I am ready. I had a rocky and somewhat debilitating marriage if you will, but I have learned that waiting will make the unity that much sweeter. I know what I don’t want… and as bad as that may sound… I had to learn the hard way. I had to learn that you can’t change people, you can’t make them love God and you can’t make them love you. We all have gifts and talents the Lord has given us and I know I’m being used in some of those areas and other areas are still being cultivated!! I need someone who will encourage me in my walk with God, pray for me, and allow me to do the same in return; someone to laugh and be silly with me; someone who will have pillow fights and eat ice cream in bed with me… God forbid I know right?!?! :)
I don’t feel I’m a complicated girl and I steer clear of drama. I had plenty of that mess in my early days and my last job. I was good at what I did but felt unappreciated. I did enjoy getting to take clients to various events and my job did allow me to participate in things I probably wouldn’t have been able to do on my own accord! (For example I got to take clients to Cirque du Soleil! A complete blessing and privilege!) I also loved that I got to use my creativity during fundraisers and contests between units!! I love making things with my hands, whether it is scrapbooking, drawing, or crafts! I have also started writing human videos and choreographing some praise dances. I’m not sure how I will use those but we’ll see!!
I don’t know what else could be said to “explain” who I am, but that’s about it in a nutshell… again, I didn’t write it to brag, or be boastful. Sometimes when I feel the enemy is getting a foothold, or trying to drag me down, or feed me lies, I need a reminder of who I really am, Who I am in Christ, where I have come from and remember where I am headed. It has taken years to form the person I am today and to even figure out that I like these things, or enjoy any of what I just stated. The Lord has great things for me, that I am SURE of, and He has great things for YOU as well dear reader!! :) Just remember who you are, who created you, and great things lay ahead for you as well. Don’t be discouraged, and remember to tell the enemy where he can go!!! Haha!! :)
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