Don't Become a Centerpiece

Well, it's been awhile since I've written. Life has consumed my time and unfortunately I still haven't mastered balance! Ok, so let's dig in and get dirty for a minute!

Over the last few days I have been thinking about this concept... It was something that struck me as I was driving, (The Lord does that to me a lot.) and was reiterated the next day by action of my brother.

I want to discuss, staying connected to our Source. Staying attached to the Vine, keeping our Roots in tact. As I was driving the other day I was noticing the pretty flowers and plants. Then I started to think about the flowers at work... How we get so many compliments on them and questions about whether or not they're real. Sadly, once people know they're real, they sometimes get pilfered. At any rate, I began thinking about what we do to keep the flowers looking nice and how we keep them alive etc. Then, the next day my brother brought my sister-in-law (I call her my sister-in-love) flowers. I was reminded again, the work she will have to do to keep them looking nice as long as possible.

The more I pondered I began to feel  a lesson stirring inside. I began to think about the flowers and plants in relationship to our growth in the Lord. We all (ok most) probably know the allegory in scripture of the vine and branches, but here's another angle to consider. When we are plucked out of our natural habitat and put in vase on the dining room table, we are now a decoration. We are now "superficial" in nature. We serve no purpose and are usually thrown away with the week's garbage when it's all said and done.

I got to thinking about the importance of leaving organisms in their natural habitat. When left alone, they thrive, grow, get nurtured, etc. But once that Lilac (for example) is cut from the bush and put in a vase at my house, it's now a centerpiece, or decoration.

My challenge to you: Don't become a centerpiece. Don't get plucked from the tree, the bush, or the side of the road. Grow where you're at. Allow yourself to blossom, get beautiful and thrive. When someone is tugging on you or coming at you with some shears (figuratively speaking) stretch yourself out and feel your roots. Ask the Lord to show you your relationship with Him and even if your roots aren't deep YET, don't give in to the idea of sitting pretty on someone's table. Don't be tempted by being able to sit in the air conditioning away from the "elements". Once you allow yourself to be plucked from the Ground, your time is very short. Yes, it's possible to prolong your life and yes you may even make someone's day with how radiant you are. But in the end, your color will fade, and you will dry up.

**Stay tuned I'm going to do a second part to this later this week regarding roots!**

Roof Ripper!

I've been pondering this scripture for the last several weeks and have made a few comments on Facebook about it. It resonates deep within me and I'm wanting to put it in to action in my own life.

Mark 2 After a few days, Jesus went back to Capernaum, and people heard that he was at home. 2 So many gathered that there was no longer space, not even near the door. Jesus was speaking the word to them. 3 Some people arrived, and four of them were bringing to him a man who was paralyzed. 4 They couldn’t carry him through the crowd, so they tore off part of the roof above where Jesus was. When they had made an opening, they lowered the mat on which the paralyzed man was lying. 5 When Jesus saw their faith, he said to the paralytic, “Child, your sins are forgiven!”

Another version says: 4 Being unable to get to Him because of the crowd, they removed the roof above Him; and when they had dug an opening, they let down the pallet on which the paralytic was lying. 

Wow... I mean can you imagine.... Every time I read this two things come to mind.
  1. What awesome friends this guy had.
  2. I want to be that kind of friend.

Seriously, think about it. If you were sick, in need, PARALYZED, as this man was and your friends came to you saying, "Hey, we're gonna take you to see this guy." I mean who knows how the conversation really went down... maybe there was arguing about whether or not it was worth the trip, maybe the man had no idea his friends wanted to help. Nonetheless the four of them went to him and said, "Let's do this." They carried him (who knows how long, I haven't done a deep exegesis of the passage) to the house where Jesus was and immediately were forced to "think outside the box". But that's the greatest part. They didn't get there, see the crowd of people and go, "Well, guess it's not going to work, we can't even get to the door." And they didn't say, "Well, we're just going to have to wait for the crowd to clear out." NO! They looked at that crowd of people and with confidence in their Lord, confidence in His power, and acting in faith, they looked at one another and said, "You thinkin' what I'm thinkin'?" (Ok that's my version :) but you get the idea) Then they proceeded to CLIMB a roof with their friend in tow. Now again I have no idea how high these roofs are or what kind of houses they had in that area, but I'm guessing no matter the size, it was still work to get a person (who can't move/walk) on top of the roof. Once there they begin to rip open the roof. HELLO!!! And they proceed to then lower their friend down into the room where Jesus was.

THIS is the kind of audacious tenacity I am seeking the Lord for. What a testimony. What an awesome awesome testimony, and not only that but a challenge. A challenge to see the needs around us and find ways to meet them! A challenge to think outside the box. To have faith enough to know WHO Jesus is and if it requires, being the one to rip open that roof. (And then to let Jesus do the rest!)

Lord, give me boldness, give me grace, give me audacious tenacity. Help me to see the needs around me and help me to have faith enough to know that you will complete the work.

Matthew 11:30

So, you know how sometimes, you read the Word and you're just blown away. You read something you've read 900 times before and suddenly it jumps off the page at you. Somehow you have revelation that you want to share with the whole world... ? Yeah well, this is one of those moments... You may get it, you may not. It might be something that was for me at that particular point in time, but as I'm learning, there is power in testimony. There is power in sharing with others. Whether it's something that you experienced or learned, it's important to share! So, here it goes... The revelation of Matthew 11:30.

The scripture Matthew 11:30 says this: For My yoke is easy and My burden is light.

Pretty cool scripture the way it reads, but when I read it, I read it as: My burden is light, as in illumination, not weight. Are you with me? In that moment I didn't even read it or see it as we “normally” read it. It was like a whole new Bible verse. As I said, a scripture many of us have read a hundred times.... but let's take a closer look, viewing it from this new perspective.

Now, please bear with me, this is not by any means exegetical in nature. I have written many an exegesis paper, and that is not what I'm going for here. I'm simply using the words for what they are in the English language and sharing what the Lord impressed upon my heart in the moment.

Alright, so the word yoke. Let's start there. If you look at the synonyms for yoke you find the word burden. I thought that was interesting for starters. But the definition of yoke is; a device for joining together, bond. Other synonyms include, coupling, tie, ligament, and burden as I said.

When you look up the word easy, it says; not hard or difficult, effortless, free from pain, discomfort, and worry.

When you look up the word burden it says; that which is carried. (and a few other things) :) And the synonyms were, care, charge, or duty.

And finally, the word light; makes things visible!!

So first of all, the yoke is what ties us as believers to Him. We are joined to Him, bonded to Him. His burden is then our burden, it's our load to carry. We are one with Him, one with the Body of Christ. But in this moment let's not look at it as that kind of load to bear.... Let's “rewrite the scripture” so you understand (hopefully) how amazing this is!!

My yoke, My bond, the ligament that joins us together, is without pain or worry, and our duty, our charge together, is to make things visible.

Yes I get that it “makes more sense” that it means light as in weight when you're talking about splitting up the load that's carried so to speak. But I think we forget that when He is in us, when He is part of us, once we are believers, and we are His sons and daughters, and we are JOINED to Him, we are LIGHT. We are called to be salt and light. We are to make things visible. We are to shine! Again maybe I'm the only one getting some hard core revelation here, but I'm just blown away!

I heard someone this week say, It's not about the darkness, but the absence of Light. We often times focus too much on the enemy and what he's doing or trying to do in our lives, when what we should be doing is illuminating. Speaking about the good. Speaking about the blessings. Being who we're CALLED to be!! The only way darkness exists, or can be present is when we take the light out, or shut it off. It's the same spiritually speaking! Let's not forget who we're joined to. He already said it's easy, right? (see above if you missed the answer!) Let's see the darkness dissipate with all the Light out there!

On a side note: I thought it was equally amusing that two of synonyms listed for burden were “Herculean task” and “thorn in one's side”!! The first just made me laugh but the second got me thinking.... (2 Cor 12:7) I'll save that for another time!! :)

Face Time

Another quirky “A-HA” moment! And for those of you wondering... the answer is Yes! Yes, every chance I get, I'm looking for opportunity to learn, correlate, compare, and blog... No I don't make stuff up just so I can write. If something happens to me, I always ask, “Is there a lesson to be learned here?” Sometimes there is and sometimes there's not. Sometimes it's just a funny story or silly situation. The goal is not to be super spiritual or weird, but just to share life with you. Share experiences I have and hope that it teaches you, speaks to you or just brightens your day.

Today, I was working on the headset taking orders in drive-thru and doin' my thing! Here is something however, most people don't know or realize. The person taking your order (at least at Chick-fil-A) is not usually the person who takes your money at the window and hands you your food. Today, I got done taking someone's order and my first thought after I was finished typing it all in was, “I'm so glad I don't have to deal with them at the window.” Now, first of all, I realize that sounds bad. However, it gets super frustrating when people are rude. You can easily get flustered, so sometimes, you're just glad you even got the order in the computer right! But it dawned on me that often times when people get to the window, they think that the person taking their money is who took their order, so they will start referring to the conversation or say something like, “Did you get it all in there right?” Now let me also say, just because I'm glad to be done with some people after ordering doesn't mean I don't have compassion for the person who then has to deal with them at the window, I'm just grateful to have a break from their attitude!! And I've had my fair share of time working in the window as well! Anyway, my point to all this....

I think sometimes we forget that, as believers, we deal with people every day. We have opportunities to speak into peoples' lives, to help them etc. But after they encounter us, they will have encounters with others after us. Are you following me? When people come through drive-thru, if I'm the one working the window and I get attitude about the way the order was taken, I'll say something to the effect of, “I'm very sorry. I was not the person who took your order but it will be my pleasure to make any corrections and get you just what you need.” As a Chick-fil-A employee I represent the company, and I want to make sure the customer has the best experience possible. It's the same as believers, we want people to have the best possible experience or encounter. Let me take it a step further. We are sons and daughters of a MIGHTY KING. If we are representing royalty, what do we want people to see or experience? Yes people are going to be rude, and we're going to sometimes think, man I will be glad when someone else has to deal with this person. Or, maybe even pray, “Lord can you please send someone else to help this person. I just can't do it.” But just as it is my job to smile and say my pleasure, even if it pains me, it's also my job to smile and love my neighbor as myself..... even if it pains me. And trust me, I have definitely asked God, or begged God rather, to let me be released of certain things. But, I have to remember who I represent, whether it's in person (like the employee at the window), or if it's just with my voice (like the employee on the headset). I don't want anyone to get a wrong impression, rude attitude, or complain on account of me. And on the flip side, there will be times we encounter people who've had experiences with believers before us and we have no idea how the exchange of communication was with the person prior to us, but we should want to make their experience the best one possible. Am I making sense? :) I want to represent Our Father, with the utmost respect and gratitude. I want others to see His love and compassion, His forgiveness and mercy. Just as an employee I want to do a good job, to serve people with respect and kindness. We may never know what kind of journey a person has been on, where they've been before we meet them; and we may never know where life takes them after we meet them. Here's to facing those people we may not want to face and doing our best to represent!  

Sharing in the Learning

Hey folks! Hope you are enjoying the beginning of June and your journey into summer!! I'm loving the weather lately, although I must say, if you've seen my facebook page at all you can tell I desperately miss my nephews and the Florida beach for sure!! I continually change my pictures to reflect that! My heart hurts being away from my family but as you will see in this entry God has been doing mighty things in my life!!

Let's see, where shall I begin...? I wanted to take this entry to share some things I've been learning over the last couple of weeks and we'll see where I end up!!

I have been getting plugged in over the last few months at a local ministry called Yasha and also a community ministry called Lifetree. I've been active in deliverance classes at Yasha and leading some great discussions at Lifetree. Here are some nuggets from Yasha recently. I hope they encourage and edify you:

1. What you come into agreement with, you empower!  
   These are powerful words and I pray that you really ponder and pray about them. It is so true. When we come into agreement with things said over us, or done to us, we empower that in our life. Which means we are also empowering someONE... Who is that in your life? What is that in your life??

2. There is power in testimony. 
  Those of us who went to Mexico, we heard these words from Dennis. The power of sharing. In one of our lessons we learned that by sharing/speaking testimony, you create an atmosphere of honor and honor produces life! When we create an environment of honor we create an environment for signs, wonders, and miracles. This I believe is coupled with walking in holiness. They go hand in hand. (1Thess 3:12-13) It's not just about honoring the Lord, but others around us. When something happens in your life, share it. Speak about it, no matter how small you think it may be. We are the body of Christ and we need one another. Sharing our lives is part of that.

3. Bitterness is unfulfilled revenge. ("Vengeance is mine" says the Lord. (Deut. and Heb.))
  We don't settle our own accounts. When we are wronged there is a "debt", an unpayable debt. Nothing could adequately fulfill or take away the pain or wound. Forgiveness, is releasing the person from that debt. Do they "owe" you? We say to people, you "owe" me an apology. That's probably true, but whether or not we get it, is not really the issue. When we hold on to the pain, the wound, etc. and expect something in return or hold on to bitterness because we think the person or people "don't deserve" forgiveness, we are allowing them/the situation to torment our lives. When we don't forgive we attach ourselves to that offense and it then has power over us. Forgiveness is not about the offender, it's about ourselves. Freeing ourselves from the power it has over us. It doesn't mean you have to like the person or whatever was done to you, but you choose not to allow it to control you or have power over you. This is huge and never easy, but necessary to grow in our walk with the Lord.

4. We are seated in the Heavenlies.
  This means now folks. It doesn't say you will be. It says, But God.....raised us up with Him, and seated us with Him in the heavenly places in Christ Jesus, so that...... (Eph 2:4-7) Maybe this doesn't strike anyone else the way it does me, but there is power in that!!  I think we forget the power that is within us, at our finger tips. We view Jesus and Heaven as things of the future, but they are among us now. We walk a spiritual life, we are spirit beings, don't miss out on what is yours to be had, RIGHT THIS SECOND!!

I could share more, but let me just end with this. And again, maybe this won't hit home with you as it did me, but I pray that you get a hold of this.

God has COUNTLESS good thoughts toward you!

Read Psalm 139 guys, seriously. It's one of my favorites, but lately it is becoming ever so clear, that He doesn't miss a beat. He hasn't created us and forgot about us. He knows your name and mine. He knows our every move. It's completely and utterly fascinating (and I'm gonna go with mind boggling) to think about the scripture that says; "Heaven is My throne and the earth is My footstool." (Is. 66:1) I'm blown away that I, among billions of others reside on what is the Lord's footstool, yet He cares about me in the same manner He cares about you. He keeps track of each one of us, and loves us all. It's a gift. The love, the relationship, the pardon of sin, the desire to be one with us, we have only to say "yes". To receive the gift. It'll be there waiting until you unwrap it, and I hope you do. 

Be blessed as you finish out your week and stay tuned. I have more news to share, but I have a few meetings to get through first. God is opening doors and preparing me for a new chapter. 

To Him be the Glory. Gloria a Dios! 

Not My Will

This last week has been a roller coaster of emotion. It seems as though over the course of the last year or so God has been dealing heavily with me. Preparing me, molding me, forming me, and teaching me. Speaking to me in ways I never dreamed of, and saying things I never expected to hear.

Since my divorce I have been before God continually... God what do you have for me? What do you want me to do? Where do you want me to go? I'll do anything you want. I just want to be in your will.

Well, out of that has spawned a move to Florida, a move back to Iowa, and a complete stripping of everything, on pretty much every level. When I left for Florida I gave away everything (furniture etc) and said I would start over. When God then asked, Do you Trust me? Followed by: Go back to Iowa. I returned, still having nothing. I have said, repeatedly I trust God. And I do. I'm not worried about the "things" I don't have. I have been blessed enough along this journey to know better than to get worried about material things such as a bed and dishes!! Then, just to make sure I was true to my word, God asked me again if I trusted Him.... this time He asked me to lay down my family, my ideas about marriage, and the desires I had in my heart for certain things. Not long after, that was followed by another question. I thought at first, God, what are you doing to me? Why do you keep "changing your mind"? And this time He asked me if I would still trust and be obedient if I was told that I would never again leave the country and my sole calling was to be a wife and mother... God, I thought, please make up your mind! Which is it? Missionary or Mom? Are you going to send me away or aren't you? But the more He kept speaking to my heart the more I realized it had nothing to do with the direction of my life, but the obedience of my heart. It was about being prepared in season and out of season, for whatever God's will is. It had nothing to do with actual "vocation".

The worry then set in when I spoke with my brother who encouraged me to have goals and began to question my path in Iowa. * Let me just pause here to say, my brother was in no way demeaning, or harsh with me. He loves the Lord, serves our country, and leads his beautiful family by the grace of God. He was just simply curious... so now that you're there, what are you working toward? What goals do you have? Are you working on them? ... Well.. um.... I had no good answers, which then made me think maybe I had missed God. Maybe there was no epiphany coming from on high to give me the next instructions. Maybe it was up to me and I was at a stand still....

The next couple of days brought many tears and questions. I sought the Lord many times... asking and pleading... God I thought you said..... God I thought.... God why.... God please just tell me what to do... why aren't you speaking???? So many questions I flung at Him... He kept reassuring me that it wasn't that He was being silent but that He was putting it all together. Kind of like when you bake and you have to put certain ingredients together, then in another bowl put ingredients together before mixing the whole thing... that's what I felt like. As though God were saying, hold on... let me mix all this over here... I'll add you to it momentarily.

Today it all started becoming very clear and very obvious. Sunday school was about choosing joy and not making life about the difficult moments. The message in church was about God asking Peter if he loved Him. Three times He asked Peter. Three times God has asked me if I trust Him.   Three times He has placed things before me and asked me to lay them aside. He's challenged me with certain direction and instruction. Then... it all started to click and everything I doubted or questioned seemed to have light brought upon it... things made sense, the picture became more clear and I felt a sense of direction and peace. The alter call was for being restored to a ministry call and setting aside any mistakes we've made up to this point. I can't explain the entire day and how it all played out because it would be a short book, and this blog entry is long enough as is. I've missed several details already in telling you the few things I have said... But hear me when I say.... God is good. He has a plan! And I'm so excited to see how things unfold over the next couple of months because it's going to be good. It's going to be good because it's not my will, it's His. It's not my plan, not my agenda. It's all His and it's all for His glory!!

What Are You Gonna Have?

Quick-Simple thoughts...

Today at work a father and son came in for lunch. The gentleman began to order a meal for his son. He turned to the boy and asked, “What do you want to drink? Dr Pepper, Coke, Sprite?” The little boy without hesitation asked, “What are you gonna have daddy?” The man replied, “I'm having Dr Pepper.” The young lad concluded, “That's what I want.” I was immediately inspired. What a perfect picture of what our relationship should look like with our Heavenly Daddy!

As we move about our day to day lives, that should be our attitude, What are you having Daddy? What do you want to see happen today? How do you want to use me today? And our response should be the same as the young boy, That's what I want! We should be lined up and tuned in to what our Father wants. We should want to be right by His side, doing what He's doing, going where He's going...

Maybe this concept seems foolish to you, or foreign perhaps. Maybe you didn't have a dad growing up, or maybe your father or father figure left something to be desired. I realize our backgrounds are all different. Think then on a hero, a great friend, or mentor. Have they ever done something or possessed something you wanted to have. It's the same concept with Jesus. He possesses, embodies, and encompasses all that we should want, need or desire. We should want to be like Him, be close to Him, and choose the things He chooses. And just think, His ways are higher than ours, His will is perfect, His actions are full of grace and mercy.... How can you go wrong saying, “That's what I want.”?

Saying a Prayer

Let me just preface this entry by saying this; This is in no way a rebuke, or reprimand. I never write with those motives. I write based on my own questions, shortcomings, thoughts, life lessons, or observations. This entry is based on observations over the past couple of weeks that have made me analyze my own walk and think on my own behavior!

Let's dig in!

What does the word pray mean? Do you pray? Have you ever told someone you'd pray for them?

The word pray is a verb. (That means it's an action word) The definition according to Dictionary.com is:

1.to offer devout petition, praise, thanks, etc., to (God or an object of worship).

2.to offer (a prayer).

3.to bring, put, etc., by praying: to pray a soul into heaven.

4.to make earnest petition to (a person).

5.to make petition or entreaty for; crave: She prayed his forgiveness.

6.to offer devout petition, praise, thanks, etc., to God or to an object of worship.

7.to enter into spiritual communion with God or an object of worship through prayer.

I started to analyze these questions recently as I began to see posts on facebook. Some were personal status updates people posted, asking for prayer. Some were just difficult situations people posted and friends began to message them and say they were praying for them. Then... Boston happened.... immediately, as with Sandy Hook, and other tragedies, people began posting pictures with candles and sentiments such as "Praying for Boston". As I was reading and scrolling through the various posts, I started to think, "I wonder how many of these people are REALLY praying?" Now, does this make me a "Doubting Thomas" of the faith, or my fellow brothers and sisters in Christ... I don't think so... and I say that because I'm not pointing a finger of judgment... It made me start to reflect inward... How many times have I told someone I was praying for them?? Did I really do it? Did I really stop to ask God to touch that person? Or was I doing lip service to a serious matter that did need prayer? Did I say a prayer or just send a message saying that I was, when in reality, the situation did cross my mind, but I simply thought about it!

The challenge I put before myself, I will present to you, and it is simply this. When I see that someone has presented a need ( where I am not there in the flesh to actually pray for them ) I will not simply say/type/write, "I'm praying for you", UNLESS I actually stop at that moment, and get before the Throne of Grace and bring the situation before God. This also, (for myself) does not mean that I will then stop and simply say, "God Bless Sally Sue", but I will, with intent, bring the situation before God. I will ask God to be in the situation, and with those involved. Currently I have a range of friends that need prayer daily for things from getting pregnant to healing their children, to bringing a financial miracle and God is showing me not to take these things lightly. I am only doing a disservice to my friends, (Christian or otherwise) to say I'm praying, if I'm really not. To pray, as I showed above, is an action. It means something TAKES PLACE. That means, something is required of me. Honestly though, what a privilege to help others by simply using my words. By simply talking to the One, who loves us so much, and DESIRES to communicate with us.

 I look forward to more opportunities to pray! Really. Truly. Pray! 

Thankful for Me, Thankful for You

Have you ever heard the question, "What if tomorrow you woke up with only those things you thanked God for today?" Kinda makes you think a little huh?? The first time I heard it, I thought man, that's pretty weighty! It put a little perspective on my praise and thanksgiving to the Lord on a daily basis; and made me realize, if that was the way it worked I better be a lot more thankful for things. My job. My groceries. My family. My friends...I mean think about it... who would you fellowship with, what would you eat ... IF it was solely based on what you had said thank you for the previous day!!!

I was thinking about the question again recently and the thought crossed my mind, "I wonder if I would be here tomorrow?" As in, I wonder if someone would thank the Lord for me today? Would I be around to see the light of day tomorrow?? Then the deeper question tagged on to that, "What have I done today to make myself a blessing to someone?" "What have I done today that would make someone say, 'Thank you Lord for Cas'?"

So, take some time to reflect today. Be aware of the things in life you are truly thankful for. Then be aware of your day to day actions. Take note of people around you who might need a helping hand or a hug. Give a little of your time to listen to a hurting friend. Lend a hand to that elderly woman loading her groceries by herself. Be the person someone is thankful for at the end of the day.

 *Every time you cross my mind, I break out in exclamations of thanks to God. Each exclamation is a trigger to prayer. I find myself praying for you with a glad heart*

Philippians 1 MSG Version

Change of Scenery

It's day one! Friday! My excitement is laced with exhaustion but it feels good. The joy out weighs all other. Seeing familiar faces is like fuel. There is some small talk and those getting acquainted or reacquainted...Some half asleep and some ready to conquer the world. I am the latter. I anticipate greatness. I stare out the window as others sleep, read and solve sudokus. I send a few texts and sleep... I stare out the window more trying hard to touch the heart of the Father without opening my mouth. I have so much welling up inside and I just want to spew it out with my mouth, but for now in this quiet van I will have to speak with my heart alone.

Today is Sunday. We are still traveling and the scenery continues to change. It becomes more rugged and mountainous. It's scenery that most would label desolate but it doesn't feel that way. Maybe I'm still running on adrenaline and joy. I'm not sure yet. With the outdoor scenery the indoor scenery changes! We've now added new faces and personalities. The energy has changed and the group has melded. We multiplied our numbers and got prayed up last night. It was invigorating to pummel the enemy in prayer and that means the scenery in changing in the spirit realm.

The days roll on and the scenery is ever transitioning. American food, American roads, internal expectations, the list goes on, only to have it all change right before our very eyes....without intermission! The daily “norm” has become nothing short of amazing, and the only thing “American” is us!! We're surrounded by loving church members, hard working locals, stray dogs, smiling children, and mountains. Change is the constant.

We're coming to the end but the change doesn't stop. Hearts are being renewed, freedom is taking up residency, and I feel the Lord stirring. The scenery continues to change, on the faces of those we've seen all week, out the window as we drive back home, crossing the border, and reflecting on my inward self.

I hope the scenery keeps changing!  

One Body, Not One Limb

So this morning as I was praying about what my next step in life is, I was lead to a passage in James. When I first read it, I thought... What? How does that apply to my life? That's not something I struggle with. But of course our interpretation of things is not always accurate. (Imagine that)

James 4:3 You ask and do not receive, because you ask ^[a]with wrong motives, so that you may spend it ^[b]on your pleasures.

I seriously had this puzzled demeanor... I don't spend money frivolously. I've learned many a lesson on spending money over the last couple of years and I know better!! Then, as I sat there I realized it meant something else entirely! I was missing the bigger picture and I began to understand as God began to speak to my heart. 

Nothing you do, no place you go, nothing that's given to you, even if it's what you want, is for YOU. Everything I do, every place I send you, everything I ask of you is for the benefit of others, for the Body of Christ. It may benefit you, it may be something you've asked me for, it may be something you enjoy but that doesn't mean it's for your benefit solely. You are but one part of the Body. When the body (physical body) is hurting or in pain other functions and entities within the body work to heal that area. When it's healed the body can function as normal which means the body as a WHOLE is relieved and the body as a WHOLE has benefited. If the body didn't do it's job a limb could be affected by infection and need to be removed, that affects the body as a WHOLE as well. You are one piece of the body. Don't become prideful or even overly joyful when it appears that you're getting "what you want". It might not have anything to do with you! 

OUCH!

Let me tell you how great it is to start your morning with a reprimand! 

When I started to think about the things I have asked for recently, prayed for, or sought direction for I realized that it was based on my comfort level, my emotion, my my my my.... I had not taken into consideration what the overall picture entailed. When I think about being in Florida and why I'm here I associate it with feelings of being uncomfortable, feeling out of place etc. Not because I don't love Florida and not because I'm not grateful for beautiful snow-less days!! But because I have felt displaced, out of sorts, and disconnected. All the while asking God what I was supposed to be learning or getting out of being here. But I didn't take into consideration that Him moving me here, may not have had ANYTHING at all to do with me; and that sending me to the next place isn't going to have anything to do with me either. Here's another version of that scripture:

James 4:3  Or if you do ask, you do not receive because your reasons for asking are wrong. You want these things only to please yourselves.

I realize full well that Psalm 37 says "He will give you the desires of your heart" and I fully believe that. But that verse is followed with these words: "Commit your way to the Lord,
Trust also in Him, and He will do it." For me this was not a reprimand in that I had been asking for things and not seeing answers. It was that I was not looking at the whole picture. I was looking at the here and now and focusing on how I feel in moment. There is more to me being here. There is more to me being removed from "home" to come here and there will be more to the story when I go to the next place God calls me to. 

Remember in all that you do .... others are affected. There is purpose in all things. (This seems to be a new motto for me) Whether the purpose affects me directly or indirectly, and whether or not that purpose or picture is revealed to me, the point is that I am part of One Body, not one limb. I'm only a small part of a much bigger picture! 

Random Stream of Thought

Sometimes I want to sit and ask God a million questions. Sometimes I want to scream at Him and give Him a "piece of my mind"...Sometimes I want to just cry

Sometimes I want to sing praises and dance around all day, telling Him how amazing He is and thanking Him for every single thing in my life

Sometimes I feel weak, I want to succumb to the word's standards
I want to be rude when someone is rude to me

Sometimes I want to be Jesus' hands and feet
I want to share Him with everyone

Some days I feel human
Some days I feel holy


Sometimes I want to pray all day, I want to listen for His voice and feel near to Him

Sometimes I wonder where He is or if He even hears me

Some days I want to quit my job and move to a remote country to share the gospel

Some days I want to stay in my bed all day and not go to work at all, let alone share the Gospel with anyone



Sometimes I want to take the pain away from the people I love
Sometimes I want to comfort all those in need

Sometimes I want to say "You deserve what you get"
Sometimes I want to turn my back


Sometimes I want to be human
Sometimes I want to be holy


**Lord help me walk this earth (as a human) who lives holy unto you. In the midst of mistakes, hardships, silence, and chaos, be my rock and my salvation. Be a lamp unto my feet and a light unto my path. Help me to be who you created me to be.

Iron Sharpens Iron

I'm sure you've all heard the phrase, "Iron sharpens iron".... and for those who don't know, it's not just a cliche, it's a Bible verse, from Proverbs. 

The verse reads: "As iron sharpens iron,

    so one person sharpens another." (Proverbs 27:17) 

For the past couple of months I have been hearing this phrase within the depths of my being. For awhile I nagged God, asking Him to explain... I would ask, Why am I here? What is my purpose in Florida? I feel like a floating duck... and all I kept hearing was, "iron sharpens iron". It frustrated me to no end because I didn't understand what it meant... until tonight. Let me pause here and back up a second. 

When I arrived here in August, I was confident. I didn't have any idea what I was going to do for work or how things were going to play out but I was sure I had made the right decision and knew that God would work out the details. As time continued, I rapidly found a job and began my pursuit to get out of debt and become a certified Doula. I set up a schedule to exercise, read/study, and work. I set up a budget, I dove into church, I was ready for whatever God was going to do with me. So I thought. 

As it turns out you can be prepared three ways from Sunday, but when God has something for you to learn, it doesn't really matter if you're prepared or not. I thought I was more than ready for whatever He had for me here, but as it turns out, I wasn't. As I reflected over the last several months, thought about all of the various emotions, the good things and bad things that happened; I could see the purpose behind it. I began to understand some of the things He had shown me and spoken to my heart early on in the move. Suddenly "iron sharpens iron" was making sense. Situations, conflicts, and opportunities were all revealed in new light. Suddenly I was having an "AHA" moment! 

How does this apply to any of you? Where am I going with this? 

I just want to encourage each of you, learn where you're at. If God has placed you somewhere, a job, a state, a neighborhood that seems uncomfortable. If you feel like you're out of place and don't belong. If you aren't getting along with people or seem to be in conflict with others. Embrace it. Grow from it. There is purpose in all things, at all times, even if we can't see it yet. A couple months after I moved here I felt like God had released me and said I was "free to go". I had no idea how on earth I'd even go back to Iowa or what I would go back to. I thought for sure I was not "hearing correctly" because I had only been down here for a couple of months. However, as I have prayed since then, and looked back, He has shown me that He will not violate my free will. He released me and said I could go if I wanted, because it would be my choice, but that my work would be incomplete. My mission and purpose would be tainted. In other words, I'd still be a "knife" just not a sharp/effective one. 

So as I continue on in my journey here, however long (or short) it may be, I'm going to embrace the emotions, the struggles, the mountain tops, the rocky roads and all the in betweens. I'm going to let iron sharpen iron so that I'm ready to move on to the next thing, whatever it may be. 

The Rest is Still Unwritten

Well, today is January 1, 2013!! Happy New Year!! 

All day yesterday and even this morning when I woke up, my head was swirling with thoughts of this last year, and goals for my future. Thoughts of what I hope to see out of 2013. I'm not big on resolutions (for various reasons). But in all honesty, how many of us set resolutions and then by January 20th we've forgotten about them or given up on them. We get wrapped up sometimes in pressuring ourselves to reach these goals that we forget our purpose. We set goals and resolutions because it's a new year. We wipe the slate clean and we want to start fresh. We want to do better, be better, and ultimately have people see us as... better...! In the midst of all this hard work, we become frustrated and give up. We put pressure on ourselves to transform but give ourselves no grace. We feel we've failed after one mistake... and that's not just pertaining to resolutions. Often times we have things in our mind that we want to accomplish and at the first sign of a mistake or lack of results that we expect, we stamp it with "failure". I know it's totally cliche to say "we learn from our mistakes", or something to that effect. We've all heard that and clearly we dismiss it as something that doesn't pertain to us, because we should be super heroes right?!?! I'm not sure where that mentality comes from but I know I have done this a number of times.

This morning as I was picking all of this apart and bouncing around thoughts of my own hopes and expectations for this year. I kept thinking to myself, "What will I do if I don't meet my own expectations?" "What will I do if I don't reach goals I give myself this year?" ...And I came to this conclusion... I don't want to be like everyone else... if you don't know me that well or haven't figured out by now, going against the grain is kind of "my thing"!! I don't want to do things like everyone else. I don't want to fit a mold. I don't want to be a "copy-cat". On the other hand I also don't want to go through life with a whimsical mentality that every day is rainbows and butterflies. So this year, I am living everyday as January 1. Everyday is a new day. Everyday is an opportunity. Everyday is a chance to make a choice. I will give everyday the best that I have. The days that are good, I will thank God. The days that are bad, I will thank God. The days that I feel accomplished will be unto the Lord, and the days that I feel like I can't go on will be unto the Lord. I'm not giving myself a goal or resolution but I suppose this in itself could be viewed as such. Do I have goals, of course, and aspirations for 2013, but I will not allow the pressure of meeting them dictate who I am or who I become this year! My journey through 2013 will be full of choices and happenings, some within my control and others beyond my control. That is this thing we are part of called Life.

Enjoy 2013... Wipe the slate clean each day. Give yourself a break once in awhile. And remember to give others the same grace you'd wish upon yourself on the roughest of days. You never know where another person's journey is headed or where they've just been. 

Here's to 2013...The Rest is Still Unwritten!