This week while I was at work I experienced something several times. You would think if it was several times and I was having “adverse” outcomes I might learn something… Well finally at the end of the day when I had repeatedly run in to doors I said to myself… “What is my problem?”, “I think I need to slow down or something”. I kept thinking, “duh, you’ve done this ten times, when are you gonna get it?” You see at work I am constantly going in and out of different doors, working on different floors and most of the time to get to where I need to go I have to go through one or more locked doors. All of the doors require the same key but some of locks don’t turn as easy as others, or so I tell myself!! J
As I continued on through my week, I noticed that I was continually trying to push through the door. I had the key in the keyhole but I was trying to push my way through the door before I had the key and door knob actually turned. As I quickly learned, the faster I tried to go through the door, the more I was “kissing” it and not getting to my destination. It ended up slowing my time down as I was bouncing around the building because I then I had to kind of take a step back, turn the key and the door, and then walk through. If I would have just followed the process to begin with, and skipped all the hiccups of face planting into the door, I would have been less frustrated at the end of the day!
As it turns out, God was using this little “dilemma” of mine to teach me a lesson. I realized that just as I was getting frustrated with the doors and locks in the building, I do the same thing with my life. Here’s a little explanation. I have had a heart for missions for several years. After Bible College, I didn’t pursue missions; instead I got married and went a different direction. I never walked away from the Lord per se, but I didn't do all that I knew I should have. Now, several years later, I am single again and pursuing my walk with God. Going after Him with my whole heart and not looking back! Over the course of the last couple years I have felt that pull, that fire in my heart for missions again. I have prayed and asked God to lead me and direct my steps. I tell God every day, I will Go, send me, I will go wherever you want me to go, but because of my zeal and passion, I keep trying to “go through doors” before they’re unlocked! I started finding every possible door that led to missions, the mission field, traveling, etc. and I tried to go through them. The problem was that I wasn’t using the key properly. I wasn’t asking God before trying to go through those doors; I wasn’t waiting for Him to give me an answer. I just kept tryin’ and every time, God allowed me to face plant into the door!! J Nice huh?!?!?
Well, after my trip to Mexico last week, I had a complete makeover of my heart. God re-framedall of my thoughts and preconceived ideas about my calling, about missions, and about what He wants for my life. Do I have all the answers yet? No. Do I know what the next step is? No. Sounds like I’m on the right track, doesn’t it!!?? J What I do know, is that God is in control. He’s got the keys, and when the time is right, He will show me which door, He will give me the right key, and I will be sure to open it with care!!
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